MOM JEANS

MOM JEANS

"I told myself I would never "dress like a mom” or have “mom hair”. I would never lose my identity in motherhood. But there I was this morning…standing in the mirror looking back at a total mom. I mean I haven’t reached full broach-wearing status…but I’m arguably, one Pandora bracelet away from some hipster calling me "Ma'am"...

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36 WEEKS - PHASES

36 WEEKS - PHASES

"Still didn’t workout. Not even once. lol But I did eat a pint of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. I mean…where’s all that time I thought I was going to have once I became a SAHM? Where is it? Must be hiding with all the fucks I give on having a belly pooch apparently."...

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THE BIG PEANUT MOMENT

At Killian's last check up, his pediatrician recommended that I introduce K to eggs and peanuts. You're probably thinking, "Oh...Kristen got a crack smoking pediatrician. That's a shame." Well friends, my pediatrician doesn't smoke crack. The American Academy of Pediatrics has done new studies that found babies introduced to eggs and nuts between 6 and 11 months of age are LESS likely to have allergies to it...by about 80%. The study came after finding that Israeli children didn't have peanut allergies. Turns out there's a popular teething treat called Bamba's that Israeli babies eat...that are made with peanut butter. And wala..no allergies. Crazy huh?

During the first year of life, a baby's body is figuring out what's foreign, what's normal, what to attack, what not to attack...so introducing it prior to a year of age can familiarize them and lower the risk of the body thinking it's foreign and attacking. So there you have it. We might've manifested all these food allergies in millennials because we kept them away from it. This actually makes perfect sense because Anthony has a nut allergy and never had a nut until he was like 9 years old.

Despite the science, my pediatrician's recommendation and confirming the findings via good old Google University...I kept putting it off. Anthony has a nut allergy and when you see a reaction like I did...(after he ate at a restaurant that had nuts in their free bread, which he didn't even eat but clearly coated all their cookware) ...you think twice. In fact, I’ve been dreading this moment since the day I found out I was pregnant. God...please don't let Killian have a food allergy. I babysat for a kid once who would DIE if he even inhaled peanut dust. Being a parent is scary enough...but if I had to go every day of my life dropping him off at school worrying that someone might've had peanut butter for breakfast and my child could die because of it? Ugh

After a week of going back in forth, I decided to take the plunge this morning. I put my shoes on, pre-dialed 911 and got my car keys ready in hand...AND? Praise teenie tiny baby Jesus because he had no reaction! None whatsoever. I know because I stared at him without blinking for at least 2 hours. In fact, he freaking loved it. I started with a small dab on my finger and he damn near bit my finger off. So I guess I'll keep giving him a little peanut butter here and there to ensure he doesn't have to live a life free of PB&J. I only wrote this blog, because I wanted all you mom's to know of the new study. I guess it's not widely known yet.

Note: My doc recommended mixing in a little bit of peanut butter with food. He also said we could try the Bamba's. For eggs he said hard boil the egg, take out the yolk and crush a little bit up over his food. If he's fine with the yolk, he'll be fine with egg whites. I haven't tried eggs yet, but since he's been vaccinated and a lot of vaccines are made with egg, I think we're good. Anyways...Here's the AAP's findings.

Here is a hilarious photo of K I took this morning.

WHEN YOU FINALLY GET MOTHER'S DAY

This isn't a blog about me. This is a blog about her...my mom...Irene Quintrall.

If there's one thing I've learned as a mom...it's how insanely hard it is. You just...don't know, do you? You don't know. I mean I never knew. I had no clue whatsoever. I never knew what my mom had gone through. I mean I thought I did, but lol I never knew what it meant to be a mom, until I became one.

A few weeks ago Killian had a rough week of teething. That meant I wasn't sleeping, he wasn't sleeping... and I had reverted to that human mongoloid with a messy bun that only speaks in vowels yet again. I kept saying "it'll pass" and "it's a phase"...but with every sleepless night my temper got shorter and my irritability got stronger. Somewhere near the end of a 6 hour waketime with a screaming baby, I was sitting in a bush on the curb of a parking lot...with boob sweat as Killian slept in a baby carrier...thirsty, tired and alone...it all hit me. I broke down and started to cry....but I wasn't crying for me. I was crying because it was the first time I realized that 30 years ago, my mom had done all this for me. That 30 years ago my mom was exhausted beyond anything...but held me in her arms, kissed me, rocked me...and cared for me like I was for Killian. It finally hit me...how much she loved me...and truly everything she'd done for me.

Sure I solicited advice from my mom on morning sickness, cracked nipples, stitches...but like...it never really sunk in that she had actually endured it all. That once upon a time, my mom did all the things I'm doing for Killian for me. I know I'm only 8 months into this journey and as I get older and Killian gets older...I'll realize more of what she did, but in that moment...with Killian in one hand and my iPhone in the other, I facetimed my mom...tears rolling down my cheeks...and told my mom thanks...but this time I was specific. I said things like..."I mean you woke up at 3 in the morning and would breastfeed me even though you were so tired you thought you might pass out in the hallway on your way to me" As I started listing things off...I could see on her face...that she knew I knew. That I finally got it. This wasn't canned Mother's Day card saying thanks for being awesome. This was a messy, snot dripping, heart aching thank you because for the first time I truly got it. I knew what to be thankful for. I'm not sure I got it all out so I'm just gonna say it all again. This is my Mother's Day card.

Thank you for growing me for 10 months. I now understand the puking, the swollen boobs, the insomnia, the utter exhaustion and uncomfortableness of sharing a body with someone else.
Thank you for enduring that labor. I now understand "back labor", the pain and the hemmorhoids. :/
Thank you for breastfeeding me. I now understand the commitment, the late nights and the toll it takes on your body. That your body belonged to someone else during the entire time.
Thank you for waking up every hour of every night. I now understand what sleep deprivation is...its mistaking Prep H for toothpaste.
Thank you for holding me when I cried. I now understand what unconditional love means.
Thank you for changing my diapers and wiping my ass. I now understand poop explosions and what getting peed on feels like.
Thank you for vaccinating me. I now understand how hard it is to make that choice and watch your little one cry.
Thank you for hugging me when I didn't feel well. I now understand how worried you were and how sick to your stomach you felt knowing I didn't feel well.
Thank you for being a stay at home mom. I now understand how much f&cking work it is.

I can't help it...but now...when it's the middle of the night and I'm rocking Killian to sleep....I think that once upon a time...not too long ago...this was you... and it humbles me. It makes me feel more connected to you than ever before. It gives me strength knowing what you did...but also gratitude. Momming isn't easy. It's the most selfless and exhausting thing I've ever done in my life. It's so much more than I ever thought it would be. One day a year doesn't even do it justice. But know that I get it now...I'm not sure if I ever skipped a Mother's Day card or not...but I get it now. And I never will again. I love you.

Cheers to every mom out there. We are members of a club...a very tired club. 

Single Moms
Working Moms
Stay at Home Moms
Moms of Dogs
Pregnant Moms
Disabled Moms
Dads who are Dads AND Moms
Step Moms
Grandmas who are Moms
Teenage Moms
Older Moms
Adopted Moms
Foster Moms
Moms who had kids before the Internet existed...oh man...seriously. 

Ugh...to all of you. I get it...I undeniably and with extreme humility...get it.

34 WEEKS - DATE NIGHT

34 WEEKS - DATE NIGHT

"…eating cheese fondue like we had a million times before, this time was different. Well actually everything was exactly the same, but we were different. We were out for dinner for the first time since becoming parents and it felt like everyone around us should know that…lol But no one did...and no one cared"...

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