22 WEEKS - MOTHER'S DAY

Happy Mother's Day to all women! I say to all women 

because lets be honest, we're all mothering someone, whether it be a baby, an animal or...a husband. Well some ass hat in my SEPTEMBER 2015 BABIES group on the What to Expect app had strong opinions otherwise. Admitting to you guys that I read these forums is harder for me than it is for you, trust me. It's the Kardashian crack of the mommy world...you can't...stop...reading... This particular whack nut posted a topic entitled "Want to know what really pisses me off?"  powerless, I clicked...  It continued "when people on Facebook wish other women Happy Mother's Day because they have dogs! Fur babies are not real babies and it dilutes the meaning of Mother's Day! Get real, you are not a mother until you labor for 36 hours and give birth to your human child! Ugh!"

You should know that in all five and a half months of being pregnant, I've only responded to the forum once, to lend my opinion on circumcision...a decision I still have nightmares about. But like 12 year olds to Justin Bieber, I couldn't help but take a whack at it.  The specifics of how I responded aren't important, but I want to take this moment to say she was wrong.  I don't see how someone wishing someone else Happy Mother's Day should have any affect on anyone else's Mothers Day, but it makes me sad to know people like this are procreating.  There are are so many things that make a person a mother and I can assure you that shooting a baby out of your vagina isn't the only criteria.  There are foster parents, adoptive parents, parents who can't have kids who have fur babies and treat them like kids...There are lots of mothers out there.  Being able to get pregnant and carry your child to term doesn't make you better or more deserving than anyone else, it makes you luckier. So Fuck You crazy forum lady and I hope you don't teach your kid such hate.  And with that I say Happy Mother's Day to anyone who feels like a mother.  I know that having this kid will change my life in ways I can't possibly imagine, but I can assure you for the past 5 years I have been a mother to my little dogs.  I've had late nights worried about a cough, cried when they went into surgery, cuddled with them when they were scared of the rain and yes...expressed anal glands when Marty couldn't stop scooting across the carpet...you better believe I've been their mother. 

HOW FAR ALONG:
22 weeks, 126 days left

DUE DATE:
September 13, 2015

WEIGHT GAIN: 9 lbs.

SYMPTOMS:
So much peeing.  The frequency with which I have to pee these days would have you thinking I'm a slutty college student with a UTI.  That being said, I'm feeling satisfied with my decision to buy a padded toilet seat years ago.  My lower back itches like hell. The itchiness has definitely stepped it up a notch. I guess my baby is using skin from my back to stretch itself forward? I'm just gonna be over here hoping Trader Joe's keeps my favorite Coconut Oil in stock.

CRAVINGS:
Sleep...and crumpets, still.

SLEEP:
meh. I miss sleeping through the night.  I'm just so monstrous now, that I can't get comfortable. Either way I lay, some part of me is angry. I lay flat on right side, I get heartburn.  I lay on my side propped up, my neck hurts.  I lay on my back, I can't breath.  I lay on my stom...hahahaha lets be honest that ship sailed a while ago.  The optimal position is on my left side with my arm under the pregnancy pillow, with my boobs delicately cushioned on top.  

BELLY BUTTON:
 in, but like Lance Bass in 2006...becoming more out every day.

EXERCISE:
Still been doing UFC Fit every day, but my back has started hurting, so I'm gonna take a few days off and see how it goes.  I don't think it's working out that's causing the pain.  In fact I'm 90% certain it's just another symptom of growing a human, but better safe than sorry.

MATERNITY CLOTHES:
I got 2 boxes of maternity clothes from my cousin.  My body thanks her.

EXCITED:
to see how the dogs are going to react to him.  Not sure if they're just gonna sniff him a lot or run away. Except for Shelby...she'll probably just bark at it.  Why do you ask? b/c that's what she does...she barks...at everything.  Note to self: Add shock collar to baby registry.

MISSING:
getting up and doing stuff...quickly.  That...and my old boobs...the smaller ones that fit into the cute bras.