29 WEEKS - THE PREGNANT HIPPY

Taken by an amazing photographer and friend Denyce Lawton.  

Pregnancy makes you a mega hippy.  For reals.  Pre-Kristen lived on the edge.  She ate GMO/pesticide ridden food, never washed her hands and used products that had...like chemicals in them!  Suddenly I find myself this person who washes all her fruit, does yoga, researches hypnobirthing, ONLY buys organic hormone free food, and the list goes on and on and on.  This week, after reading an article about the cons of cutting the umbilical cord immediately after birth, I uttered these words... "I mean, I'm gonna have to let the doctor know that he's going to have to wait 2-5 minutes after I give birth before anyone cuts that cord, because that's MY cord and there's all kinds benefits to waiting 2-5 minutes and I read that if you stop the flow of blood that suddenly...blah blah blah.  Like i heard myself say that and couldn't help but think, who am I? What have I become?  It's involuntary.  You just turn into this mama bear who will do absolutely anything if it could benefit your unborn child by as little as 2 IQ points. At least I'm still shaving my arm pits.

HOW FAR ALONG:
29 weeks, only 77 days left!! Babies shouldn't take so long to grow...or like...should just be born smaller...but you know, in a healthy way.  Feels like a win win for my vagina and the baby.  With all the kicking he's doing, I can only assume he wants out as much as I want him out. 

WEIGHT GAIN:
18.6 lbs! I eat the same, but I keep gaining and gaining.  Slowly, but surely accepting the double chin fate that is the rest of this hot ass summer.

SYMPTOMS:
Rocking the usual back pain caused by my insanely overgrown jugs....and of course lots of swelling.  On the plus side...if I reeeeeeeally want to look for the silver lining and not be a miserable whiny pregnant person for one second, my lips are plump.  Usually I don't have much of an upper lip, but right now I'm feeling very Angelina Jolie...or Kylie Jenner or whoever is the hot big lips person these days.

Oh and this is definitely tmi...but full disclosure? ...my vagina swoll to something unrecognizable last Tuesday.  I only mention it b/c I was fairly alarmed as I glanced in the mirror, and maybe by me mentioning it to you, you won't be as alarmed as I was. I immediately called Anthony into the bathroom and was like omg omg LOOK! ...that's not normal right? like it doesn't normally look like that right? RIGHT??? And well...he took one look and started laughing hysterically...YEP!  It looked so cartoonish, my husband laughed at my vagina. I can't remember exactly what he said, but I'm pretty sure he mentioned balloon animals at one point. Anyways I googled it and I guess it's pressure and weight from the baby that pushes on something and causes it.  Its science. I'm ok. Disturbed, but ok. Swelling had gone down by the end of the day, but apparently I should expect it to happen again. So ya...just add balloon animal-esque vagina to the ever growing list of symptoms.  Fun stuff.

Just a super whimsical photo of Anthony and my boobs.

Look how romantical we are.

CRAVINGS:
Grapes...anything cold.  Those are my preferences or whatever.

SLEEP:
I pee 4-5 times a night. Sleep is a joke.  However...I will say that I'm getting use to not sleeping sooooooooo...progress.

BELLY BUTTON, STRETCH MARKS AND WEDDING RINGS:
Belly button is out, wedding ring is off and again no new stretch marks.  

EXERCISE:
I swim every single night.  I'm not doing major laps or anything, but it beats sitting on the couch. Also, prenatal yoga 3 times a week.  I don't think I've ever fully appreciated yoga until I got pregnant.  I mean I've done yoga and always written it off as glorified stretching when I can't be bothered hopping on the treadmill, but now?  Oh i'm fully into the breathing and the stretching and "getting in tune with my body".  If I hadn't started yoga, I am 100% certain I'd be in far more pain than I am...for that...I say "namaste" or "thank you" yoga inventor person.

I said I'd never do a belly picture, but who can be bothered wearing clothes these days?

EXCITED:
For labor!! We had our maternity tour on Wednesday and it was awesome.  I love the hospital so so much. Guaranteed private labor/delivery room, fantastic nurses, winning view of the hills, semi-fashionable labor gowns and a lot of policies that I thought I'd have to fight to get.  Also, they're a baby friendly hospital which means, no nurseries.  Once the baby is born, he never leaves my sight.  They do all testing, weighing, cleaning, vitamin K shots, EVERYTHING right next to me.  They really promote/insist skin on skin within seconds of birth and will immediately give me my own lactation consultant to ensure the baby latches so I can "imprint like they do in the animal kingdom".  It was a whole thing...I'm glad I got to pre-register and see the lay of the land.  I feel a lot calmer after having done it.

MISSING:
Wine.  For the first time since being sober for the past 7 months, I had a craving for the sweet nectar.  Then it was like oh ya...the baby....aww man! 

It was super great to catch up with my friend Denyce Lawton and take some hilariously fun photos.  There's a lot to go through, but all the ones I posted on my blog...she did.  She's amazing right?