I WATCHED A MAN...SHIT IN A BOX

ME AND MY BODY:
4 weeks! If you told me a month ago, I would work out every single day for a month straight, I’d be frisking your pockets for all that weed you must be smoking. And yet here I am….feeling one thousand percent better than I have in years. I mean sure...everything is harder now. Working out is harder (when you have kids and dogs climbing on you). Eating healthy is harder (when you don’t have all the time for meal prep and cooking). Leaving the house is harder (when you have to pack your entire house and fridge because…babies). Everything is harder after you have a kid, but you can’t let that be your story. This was by the most “testing” week I’ve had. Every single day the world would fall out from under my feet just before I was gonna workout and I’d say “Fuck it…I’m done”, but then this teenie tiny piece of me would be like, “Crap…what if one person out there is banking on me working out so they can join in? UGH Why Kristen…why do you make life decisions like live streaming your workouts? Why do you do this?” And 15 minutes into my workout, I realized…oh ya. This is why.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK: 
Fine I’ll say it….church. My church is seriously awesome. I legit look forward to going every week. The music is bumpin’, the people are nice, the message is inspiring…did I mention free day care and coffee? It’s an hour and a half of my week where I feel like I could do anything. And then Monday comes and I turn into blah mommy shouting at the dogs to quit barking and Killian to stop grabbing the dog bowl. But for that hour and a half….I feel hopeful of what I could do. How I could be more positive and not argue with Facebook friends over politics, how I could have more empathy for those with less, how I could get involved in my community and do charity. When I'm there, I’m like two notches shy of running for Mayor to help the whole damn city. I wish everyone could go to my church. It’s the best of what Christianity is and what it represents. No Kim Davis’s here. (Unfortunately Killian always falls asleep on the way there, so we hang out in the parking lot like weirdos until he wakes up or church starts...whichever comes first)

LOWLIGHT OF THE WEEK: 
As we were pulling out of the church parking lot, it was a “Right Turn Only”. So we went right and turned down a side street to come back around. I was feeling super spiritual and overall jazzed about the last hour of my life, when things got very real. Yep. Just as I pulled up to the corner to get back on the main st, I saw a man…taking a shit…into a 48” flat screen tv box. He was just perched there as if it were a real toilet and that was his throne. With nowhere else to go but forward... we rolled up next to him, like a topless jeep on a Safari observing the animals…everything was in slow motion. I was in shock.  I mouthed “Issssss thaaaaaat guyyyyyy taaaaaaaking aaaaaa shiiiiiit? (b/c we’re still in slow motion) Anthony replied, "Yeeeeeeesssss Iiiii belieeeeeeve heeeee isssss" I was mortified, but couldn’t look away.  I could see his asshole hairs. I could see it all. Felt like I was at the drive in movie theatre and he was the main event. Without wiping, he pulled his pants up and walked off as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn't just left poop...in a box. I couldn't help but wonder if this was one of those moments, "I could be a better person" and God wanted me to reach my hand out the window and offer him a baby wipe. Well, God wasn't speaking loud enough for me to hear his answer, so I just locked my doors instead. lol And then the entire drive home consisted of me and Anthony repeating to each other “Can you believe he was just crapping in a box?” “I mean ya he just shit right there on the main road…in a box” #NeverForget

KILLIAN: 

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He calls me “No No” …sigh

I finally get it, moms…he started completely destroying my house. Like I’m starting to give up on cleaning all together. As soon as I clean half a room, he’s destroyed the other half. He can tear apart my kitchen in less than 5 minutes.  I could literately spend my entire day following him around and cleaning up whatever mess he’s just made. I keep wondering…like…maybe I should just leave it like this and stop fighting it. Would that be ok?

He likes moving furniture around like…dragging the trash can into the living room…or his toilet seat into my bedroom. 

He got his first boo boo :( He was running and fell onto some plastic while we were out and it drew blood. (I whisked him off to the bathroom, pulled my shirt off, and squeeze breastmilk all over it. Hi….I’m THAT mom…apparently)

ANTHONY: 

I decided to participate in that #loveyourspousechallenge because people kept nominating me and for some reason I succumb to peer pressure. I didn’t have the time to sift through old photos of us when we were hot and skinny to impress my Facebook friends, so instead, I just started snapping photos of real life. I figured…loving him on our wedding day or when I gave birth or when we first met? that’s easy. Marriage is real…and it’s hard sometimes. I love this man no matter what. Tomorrow is day 4. I should note that I do like to find “the line” and jump over it…so probably the last one wasn’t appropriate, but I’m not sure I care.

END OF THE WEEK THOUGHTS: 
Life will never be easy again.