BOWIE, BIKES AND BOOBS

BOWIE, BIKES AND BOOBS

"In Los Angeles we have bicycle lanes. It’s roughly 3-4 feet that runs along side the normal car lanes, where bicyclist can mince around freely…not impending upon foot traffic on the sidewalk nor cars on the road. It’s nice. Except when an asshat on his bicycle decided he didn’t want to go in the bicycle lane. No…his yellow spandex onesie and black helmet must’ve made him impenetrable."

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TAKE ME TO CHURCH, YO!

TAKE ME TO CHURCH, YO!

"I said I would work out this week…and I did. Every effing day…i did. And to think… only 77 more days to go. FML lol I live-streamed my workouts on FB and have been blogging all about it in my new HEALTH section. If you want to jump on in with me, you should, because I’m 98% certain I’m working out alone…and well... that’s kind of embarrassing. Either way, I’m gonna keep going. Exercising has been a game changer. It’s been the hot new social hour with all my internet friends and it’s fantastic."

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PURGING ALL THE BLAH

PURGING ALL THE BLAH

"The monotony of being a Stay At Home Mom can really grate on you. It’s like the movie Groundhog Day.…only a lotmore poo and a lot less Bill Murray. My life has become predictable. So predictable, I can time Killian's morning shit down to the minute. Actually...I'm pretty sure my own poos have got on a schedule too."

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MOM JEANS

MOM JEANS

"I told myself I would never "dress like a mom” or have “mom hair”. I would never lose my identity in motherhood. But there I was this morning…standing in the mirror looking back at a total mom. I mean I haven’t reached full broach-wearing status…but I’m arguably, one Pandora bracelet away from some hipster calling me "Ma'am"...

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36 WEEKS - PHASES

36 WEEKS - PHASES

"Still didn’t workout. Not even once. lol But I did eat a pint of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. I mean…where’s all that time I thought I was going to have once I became a SAHM? Where is it? Must be hiding with all the fucks I give on having a belly pooch apparently."...

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